|
|
|
Hillbilly Terminology
The Herbal Healer Academy is located in the Arkansas Ozarks and we
have first-hand knowledge that most of these terms are correct!
Turn up that there volume and listen to da fiddlin'!
Arkansas Ozark Hillbilly Technology Terms
| Log On | Makin a wood stove hotter. |
| Log Off | Don't add no more wood. |
| Monitor | Keepin an eye on the wood stove. |
| Download | Gettin the farwood off the truk. |
| Mega Hertz | When yer not kerful gettin the farwood. |
| Floppy Disc | Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood. |
| RAM | That thar thing whut splits the farwood. |
| Mouse Pad | That hippie talk fer the rat hole. |
| Prompt | Whut the mail ain't in the winter time. |
| Windows | Whut to shut wen it's cold outside. |
| Screen | Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season. |
| Byte | Whut them dang flys do. |
| Chip | Munchies fer the TV. |
| Micro Chip | Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag. |
| Modem | Whut cha did to the hay fields. |
| Dot Matrix | Old Dan Matrix's wife. |
| Laptop | Whar the kitty sleeps. |
| Keyboard | Whar ya hang the dang keys. |
| Software | Them dang plastic forks and knifes. |
| Mouse | Whut eats the grain in the barn. |
| Mainframe | Holds up the barn roof. |
| Port | Fancy Flatlander wine |
| Enter | Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all" |
| Random Access Memory | Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks. |
| Hard Drive | Gettin home in the winter time. |
Arkansas Ozark Hillbilly Medical Terminology
| Benign | What you be after you be eight |
| Artery | The study of paintings |
| Bacteria | Back door to cafeteria |
| Barium | What doctors do when patients die |
| Cesarean Section | A neighborhood in Rome |
| CATscan | Searching for kitty |
| Cauterize | Made eye contact with her |
| Colic | A sheep dog |
| Coma | A punctuation mark |
| D & C | Where Washington is |
| Dilate | To live long |
| Enema | Not a friend |
| Fester | Quicker than someone else |
| Fibula | A small lie |
| Genital | Non-Jewish person |
| G.I. Series | World Series of military baseball |
| Hangnail | What you hang your coat on |
| Impotent | Distinguished, well known |
| Labor Pain | Getting hurt at work |
| Medical Staff | A Doctor's cane |
| Morbid | A higher offer than I bid |
| Nitrates | Cheaper than day rates |
| Node | I knew it |
| Outpatient | A person who has fainted |
| Pap Smear | A lie about someone's Pappy |
| Pelvis | Second cousin to Elvis |
| Post Operative | A letter carrier |
| Recovery Room | Place to do upholstery |
| Rectum | Damn near killed him |
| Secretion | Hiding something |
| Seizure | Roman emperor |
| Tablet | A small table |
| Terminal Illness | Getting sick at the airport |
| Tumor | More than one |
| Urine | Opposite of you're out |
| Varicose | Near by/close by |
-Author Unknown
|
|
|
 Minimum
shipping charge is $8.00. (Ships 1-3 pounds U.P.S.). For larger packages, correct shipping charges will be added in our office at the time of your order, depending on the weight and location. |
|
1-870-269-4177 Monday thru Friday 9:00a.m. to 4:30p.m. CST (Closed Saturday & Sunday) |
Email
Herbal Healer |
||
|
|||
