Hillbilly Terminology
The Herbal Healer Academy is located in the Arkansas Ozarks and we
have first-hand knowledge that most of these terms are correct!

Turn up that there volume and listen to da fiddlin'!

Arkansas Ozark Hillbilly Technology Terms

Log On Makin a wood stove hotter.
Log Off Don't add no more wood.
Monitor Keepin an eye on the wood stove.
Download Gettin the farwood off the truk.
Mega Hertz When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.
Floppy Disc Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.
RAM That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
Mouse Pad That hippie talk fer the rat hole.
Prompt Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
Windows Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.
Screen Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.
Byte Whut them dang flys do.
Chip Munchies fer the TV.
Micro Chip Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
Modem Whut cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix Old Dan Matrix's wife.
Laptop Whar the kitty sleeps.
Keyboard Whar ya hang the dang keys.
Software Them dang plastic forks and knifes.
Mouse Whut eats the grain in the barn.
Mainframe Holds up the barn roof.
Port Fancy Flatlander wine
Enter Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"
Random Access Memory Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.
Hard Drive Gettin home in the winter time.

Arkansas Ozark Hillbilly Medical Terminology

Benign What you be after you be eight
Artery The study of paintings
Bacteria Back door to cafeteria
Barium What doctors do when patients die
Cesarean Section A neighborhood in Rome
CATscan Searching for kitty
Cauterize Made eye contact with her
Colic A sheep dog
Coma A punctuation mark
D & C Where Washington is
Dilate To live long
Enema Not a friend
Fester Quicker than someone else
Fibula A small lie
Genital Non-Jewish person
G.I. Series World Series of military baseball
Hangnail What you hang your coat on
Impotent Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff A Doctor's cane
Morbid A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates Cheaper than day rates
Node I knew it
Outpatient A person who has fainted
Pap Smear A lie about someone's Pappy
Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative A letter carrier
Recovery Room Place to do upholstery
Rectum Damn near killed him
Secretion Hiding something
Seizure Roman emperor
Tablet A small table
Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport
Tumor More than one
Urine Opposite of you're out
Varicose Near by/close by

-Author Unknown


Minimum shipping charge is $8.00. (Ships 1-3 pounds U.P.S.).
For larger packages, correct shipping charges will be added in our office
at the time of your order,
depending on the weight and location.

Call in Order Line
Monday thru Friday
9:00a.m. to 4:30p.m. CST

(Closed Saturday & Sunday)

Email Herbal Healer
(Email closed Saturday & Sunday)
Orders may be Faxed to
1- 870-269-5424

Herbal Healer Academy Inc.
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